Horses for courses

I’ve only just got out of bed despite it being early evening; I woke this morning with enough headache for three people and was forced to ring in sick. That’s a day’s pay lost. I’m not brilliant now; all fuzzy and the pain is still there but I can at least stay upright again.

I’m thinking about why people cannot accept that another person does not or cannot enjoy something they love. This comes via an exchange on Facebook, that utterly banal waste of time where one dear friend commented something about dancing in the rain; I’d answered, well I don’t dance, full stop end of story. There followed a couple of people saying to the effect “Oh you should try it, you’d like it!” or “Oh you haven’t lived till you’ve danced at least one dance!”

I’m forty three for ****’s sake! Does anybody seriously imagine that in all that time I have escaped dance altogether? I had even made this a part of my answer. I’ve tried most things; I don’t have to like them all. I hate dance. I don’t even much enjoy watching it; most people dance as though they had electrodes attached to their private parts. But I accept that they enjoy it and I am glad for them. Why then do people blindly and blithely assume that I’d like it if I only tried it, or tried harder? I know what I like and I know what I don’t like. I try not to go round telling other people they’d enjoy what I enjoy if they only tried it. I wanted to write, “Oh I’m sure you’d adore higher maths if you only tried it!” or “You simply haven’t lived till you read The Illiad in the original Greek!” 

We’re each different, with different tastes. Mine are my own, so why do people endlessly try and make me like what they like? 

Go dance, in the rain or where ever you want. Just don’t imply that by refusing to join you I am a lesser human being.

Signed,

Pissed off of Lowestoft

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13 thoughts on “Horses for courses

  1. It pays to be pissed off at times. I have to admit that I am one who rarely expresses true feelings covering the inner with a smile and a relative quite presence. I do at times enjoy dancing however admitting that often gets me to keep up with a partner who wants to go faster and faster and faster as if a devil is in pursuit. As for the rain, if it is gentle, it is nice to stroll a bit and breathe in the fresh scents. As for dancing in the rain, no thanks.

    • I like walking in the rain, too.
      If I ever admitted or showed how pissed off I am about things, I’d be dubbed Mrs Grumpy!

  2. You’re so right. It’s as if they’re saying, if you don’t like what they like you don’t like THEM. So many damned insecure people in the world. Let THEM dance in the freakin’ rain, slip and fall, and catch pneumonia to boot.
    On a serious note, I do hope your headache is easing off. I used to get them like that.

    • It rumbles on; since I said that I didn’t like it, I have been told I have no soul etc.
      On the plus side, headache is not too bad today despite no sleep last night through worry about my poorly cat and a rowdy class this morning. I’m putting off the moment when I have to write my sodding lesson plan for tomorrow; new initiative from the boss. I’d love to do a detailed lesson plan every day, except the money I get paid is only for the hours I teach and doesn’t cover preparation work, so I do what I can manage in fifteen minutes an hope she doesn’t take exception to it. If she does, I shall ask for the scheme of work so I can plan ahead etc. Since there isn’t a scheme of work, this will not go down well. So far, she’s not even glanced at the plans I hand in!

  3. It is also a way for people to say that you are not okay as you are; liking dancing or not, if that is you, it is you.

    I used to believe that I knew what was best for others, out of love and compassion for them. But, in my own way, that was telling them that they weren’t okay as they were, and that I somehow knew better what they needed.

    I don’t do that anymore, because no one deserves it, including you. Do what you do that makes you, YOU!!!!

    I hope that you will be feeling better soon…..

    • I can be quite honest and say that much of the time I don’t know what’s best for me, let alone anyone else! And to be equally honest, I’m NOT OK the way I am; but having tried to change or improve myself, I have to accept that for the forseeable future, this is me. Others will have to just get used to that; I am a work in progress.
      I’m feeling pissed off because due to the stupidity of others, I won’t be getting my trip to Paris, and also because the new owner has insisted of giving the students their certificates tomorrow morning, before lessons, so he can do it and then go to China; this means that for the next 2 and a half hours, I and my colleague have to teach kids who’ve got their grades and are ready to go home and are going to be MURDER to try and teach. My DOS’s suggestions for lesson- “kick’em in the face”. Very helpful, NOT! That is Thursday’s problem.
      Ah half of my issues right now is that in trying to alleviate one medical problem, the doctors have created three more and have failed to resolve the first. So much of my anxiety and depression right now is as a result of skewed hormones and faulty meds.
      Can I just say, “BOLLOCKS” very loudly a few times to alleviate my feelings….?

  4. I am at a loss as to why some individuals feel it neccessary to constantly impose their own values and ideas of what is “fun” down everyone else’s throat!!!
    The only explanation I can think of is that they obviously can’t enjoy it on their own and that without other people’s agreement insecurity sets in!

    It really pisses me of when people do it to me. In fact I have cut off contact with people I used to call friends because they somehow made it their goal to constantly tell me how I should be living my life!. One person in particular kept saying “when are you going to get a girlfriend so that you can have children”!!! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a case of me not wanting that but I would like to make the choice myself!
    I have never turned the table and asked her when she was going to get divorced and get rid of her children!!!

    You have every right to be you and enjoy what you enjoy without having to justify it to anyone.

    With love and hopes of you feeling better.

    J

    • Much appreciated, J.
      I’m feeling ropey again, physically, and mentally. I don’t want to go to work on Thursday(I’m off tomorrow- huzzah!) because our jerk of a new owner has decided that because he is going away later that day, he must do the presentation of the students certificates of achievement BEFORE we do the final lesson of their stay. You can see the snag with this: the students will have no incentive to work for the next 2 and a half hours, and we will have a hellish morning. This lot are difficult anyway because they come over primarily for sport and sport related activities, and the English lessons are basically thrown in to keep the parents happy(education you know!) so they bugger around in lessons and don’t give a rat’s arse about learning. I’m OK with classroom discipline but I do find it wearing when I have to keep pulling them up and making them do the work; I prefer a relaxed classroom where people don’t get yelled at, but just get on with things in a civilsed way. You can see why I never want to teach a regular class of English kids… The hardest of the foreign kids are as nothing to most British school classrooms.
      I need careers advice!!!
      By the way, I am sure that things will work out for you; I think distancing yourself from people who wind you up like that is wise. Right now, I’d be a complete Billy No-Mates if I did that. But it is tempting…

    • Much appreciated, J.
      I’m feeling ropey again, physically, and mentally. I don’t want to go to work on Thursday(I’m off tomorrow- huzzah!) because our jerk of a new owner has decided that because he is going away later that day, he must do the presentation of the students certificates of achievement BEFORE we do the final lesson of their stay. You can see the snag with this: the students will have no incentive to work for the next 2 and a half hours, and we will have a hellish morning. This lot are difficult anyway because they come over primarily for sport and sport related activities, and the English lessons are basically thrown in to keep the parents happy(education you know!) so they bugger around in lessons and don’t give a rat’s arse about learning. I’m OK with classroom discipline but I do find it wearing when I have to keep pulling them up and making them do the work; I prefer a relaxed classroom where people don’t get yelled at, but just get on with things in a civilsed way. You can see why I never want to teach a regular class of English kids… The hardest of the foreign kids are as nothing to most British school classrooms.
      I need careers advice!!!
      By the way, I am sure that things will work out for you; I think distancing yourself from people who wind you up like that is wise. Right now, I’d be a complete Billy No-Mates if I did that. But it is tempting…

  5. It is so good to hear that you are feeling “ropey” again.

    The owner sounds like a bit of an idiot to me. Surely he can appreciate that if he decides to give the students their certificates BEFORE the final lesson he has rendered the final lesson completely pointless!!!
    I have a huge amount of respect for what you do. Teaching (with my ignorant knowledge of the field) seems to require a lot of patience.
    As far as careers advice is concerned, I need it as much as you! More and more I am feeling it is time for me to do something different. I love the interaction I have with my clients but I hate the desperation and incompetence of the people above me!!

    There are a lot of english schools in Oxford specifically for foreign students. It’s not just kids, but also business people who come because they want to better their english skills.

    I have distanced myself from a lot of people and I did feel like Billy No-Mates quite a lot and I have no regrets about it anymore. I have made some really wonderful friends since then, including you, which means that worst case scenario will be “Billy One Mate” rather than “Billy No Mates”

    Love

    J

    J

    • The owner is more than a bit of an idiot; the last one was too, but we expected better of this guy as he SAID he was giving autonomy on the daily running of the school to the current manager. But he hasn’t; he is running the staff ragged with unreasonable demands and throwing strops about every little thing. I’ve had to teach a few times after the grades are given out and it’s a total nightmare. You have no leverage, and I can also understand the students’ point of view. It would be better to bow to the inevitable and do something like show a film, but we are not allowed to do that.
      I’m hoping that I get a letter through the post today telling me I have an emergency appointment at the hospital as requested last week by my gp, for tomorrow…that way I can ring up and give a damn good reason why I can’t come in and to hell with the money.

  6. Why do people try to make me eat things that I’d rather not:-(
    Why do they try to make me fetch my leash when I’d rather fetch my bowl?
    Why do they make me take a bath when I’d rather lick myself clean?

    Guess it’s just that people of the human kind want to make others do things there way. If you don’t want to dance don’t. Mercury too doesn’t. Cameo does – but thankfully he doesn’t make us dance (figuratively speaking he does…he makes us dance to his tunes.)

    So live life the way you want to – with your dogs and cats:) Are you planning a swift introduction? I am dying to meet them:) But if you don’t want to…it’s fine…follow your heart:)

    Licks n wags,
    Oorvi

    • I am hoping to put up pictures of my pets at some point, Oorvi, yes, when I get good ones. One of the cats. Robin gave us a nasty scare at the weekend and had to go to the V-E-T on Monday, but he’s perked up and much better now. He’s got tablets for another 7 days..

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