Energy Vampires

 

I was having a little scout around and I found this interesting article on a blog. I’ve had trouble with this phenomenon before many times and it’s strangely reassuring that it’s not just me imagining it. Someone I work with eats people up and spits them out; those who have been sampled, drained and discarded are at a greater remove from the poor saps who are lured into the magic circle to be fed upon at length.

I didn’t watch the videos this blog supplies but maybe you will, and let me know, but as I found the article balanced, I suspect the videos may be too.

http://lifelessons4u.wordpress.com/

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8 thoughts on “Energy Vampires

  1. There is a group of “actual” vampires where I live. I say “actual” because obviously they aren’t draining people and leaving carcasses lying around town but instead have organized themselves into a multi-tiered organization with a website, a newsletter and a research arm. Because this is just too fascinating to leave alone, I’ve had a mosey around their site. Interestingly, there is a sub-group that requires energy rather than blood to stay healthy. Literal energy vampires! Both types somehow hook up with donors (who have to be willing).

    Besides my first reaction, which was to think this was beyond odd, was a bit of disappointment that vampires could now lay aside fangs and capes and wear business suits (though I suspect a number of members are in all black).

    • On a subconscious level it’s very easy to “agree” to be a victim; it’s cloaked in all sorts of complex psychology. But when you wake up and smell the metaphorical coffee, it’s very scary to realise what you’ve been doing. I’ve been watching the new donors clustering around the vamp, and I can’t warn them, because it’d just sound like bitchiness. But those of us previously used and now discarded, and those who are too instinctively savvy, all congregate on the other side of the room. The vamp, incidentally, is the goblin queen.
      Being a big Buffy fan, the descent into banality is rather disappointing. My Facebook status for a while read, “There!” said Buffy brightly as she hammered home the stake through Edward’s heart and watched him explode into burning fragments. “Now for the others!” There’d be something very satisfying about that, wouldn’t there?

  2. A “victim” in this case, if willing, is agreeing almost to a fetish. Believe it or not, this gratifies both parties to some degree. If you’ve ever wondered why someone would tag along when they know the other’s qualities, well, now you know why.

    Those who take along “unwilling” victims are by far the dangerous type. And, often, more deceptive. They could be your friend, your college, that shoulder you’ve always wanted. Until too late.

    Some of these vampires are unaware of what they’re doing. It may be years or decades before something clicks. Of course, then the question is whether they change or persue it even further. There’s a degree of incredible selfishness needed to be an energy vampire.

    • Thanks for dropping by, Eksith
      It’s hard to differentiate whether one is unconsciously willing or unwilling when so often the relationship looks like any other. It’s when the give and take becomes take take take and you notice how you feel afterwards. In the work case, well, the pay-off for the victims is maybe feeling one will get prefernce in a busy office by being there for the vamp. For me, I only clicked to what had happened when I was effectively asked to give up my own will and agree to something I objected to strongly. Before that I’d been almost in the role of mentor; after, I realised I’d been milked for all I might give and then rejected because it wasn’t enough.
      And yes, selfishness is a vital part. The person I currently know is possibly one of the most selfish and lazy people I have ever met.
      I find remembering my own psychic protection routine and basic psychic hygiene helps a lot; what about you?

  3. And when we say “clicked”, obviously it’s not with the first incident.

    There’s a mental ratio to keep track of to avoid this kind of situation.

    How much am I contributing to the relationship and how much am I taking.

    Of course, this doesn’t mean I walk around with a notepad or something, but just a little reminder. A bit of an alarm clock or scale.

    If I’m taking more, then I need to adjust. If I’m giving more, then it’s time for a chat. Often an elaboration of perspectives gets the job done and starting with a list of things that you’ve accomplished, that they didn’t, is a good place to start.

    This could lead a separation from this individual or a personality change on their part, but either option preferable than to suffer in silence.

    • Over a period of time, things should roughly balance out, rather than merely on a day-to-day basis. I have a number of friends who have supported me through tough times and I them but if you analysed during one of those tough times, it would seem unbalanced. You just have to keep some kind of awareness of how things are long term. What’s always got my goat, so to speak, are the occasions where people take all they want from you and when asked to reciprocate, turn you away. That tends to be the point where I first feel hurt and then decide to be a lot more careful around them in future. I had one friend who had taken quite a lot of my time etc and on the one occasion where I asked him for something(a five minute lift home in his car, delaying his surfing by ten minutes tops) he refused without thought. We used to work in full time ministry where giving was often unbalanced; but that said, that’s part of the deal you often have to accept.
      But Vampires are another thing; severance of the relationship is often the only way.

    • I went over and commented there, but it’s amazing that so many people don’t realise this issue until they’re worn to a ravelling!
      Hope the translation went well!

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