I’m having a down day. One of those days where you wake and everything is grey. I get them a lot when I’m having a depressed period and so far I have been quite lucky to have had so few in this section of time. I guess it may be a reaction to the last few days of internal revelations and moving on.
The temptation is to beat myself up, blame myself for everything, punish myself for hoping for better times and situations. The fact is, despite the departure of the Goblin Queen and her minion, I’m in a job that has no real prospects and after my trip this afternoon, has no work for me till God knows when, quite possibly February or March next year. I may have work from my other job but that’s also subject to the vagaries of the economy and so may not happen at all. My dog has a serious illness. I could go on with what’s wrong but the truth is it’s not a single issue or even a conglomeration of them that has created this grey day inside my soul.
It simply is. Outside the sun is shining, little white clouds are bustling along in the sky. I have a home and a family and no major problems in my life but I still feel very low. I’ve tried counting my blessings; doesn’t make a scrap of difference.
I just need to endure; use some of the many tricks I use for lifting mood sufficiently to function, and just get through.