Sorry for the long title using silly language but yesterday was one of those days that becomes funny after it’s over.It certainly wasn’t funny as I struggled on to cope with not the actual events of the day (which went surprisingly smoothly) but the peripheral issues of the person I was working alongside.
I don’t feel it’s a good idea to detail the list of things that got on my nerves and rubbed them raw all day. I spent a good deal of my time asking myself why I was reacting like that. I must add the reaction was all internal; I was outwardly pleasant and compliant. There’s not a lot of point in rising to things when doing so is just going to make things about fifty time worse. I’ve had issues with the colleague before and I’ve learned the hard way to just walk away before it gets nasty.
By the time I got home I was worn out, beyond what a 9 hour day should do to me, and ready to vent. My family were suitably outraged on my behalf and so was J when he rang; my Dad was sympathetic but calm and detached. Dad’s advice, “Well, it’s gone and over with; that’s in the past now.”
I’ve been trying to work closely using my instincts and yesterday I was doing so; following little clues and hints to make sure the day went really well for the 40+ people I was working for and trying to make sure that my baggage and that of my colleague didn’t affect their day in any way. I’m quite proud of the fact that when my colleague turned up ten minutes late for departure I didn’t make a fuss, or react when she said, “Oh am I late then?” I just said, “Yes, a bit. The meeting time was at quarter past the hour,” since I know that it’s pretty useless to actually try and remonstrate with her. I just may do my best to avoid working with her again; but I also strongly suspect that she will do the same and would go further than me and actually ask the boss not to put her on with me again.
I woke feeling very unwell; I’m not sure yet if it is stress or a virus. I’m not working now till Monday and that’s OK, as it’s just something quite different. I don’t know sometimes how to deal with the emotional aftermath of keeping a day on an even keel when someone else’s attitudes and behaviour have threatened it all the time.
I’m going to have a quiet day catching up on chores and a few other things, like relearning some maths and German. I’m going to try as far as I can to let go of the emotions, as both my father and my husband suggested and have a good and productive day.
But if anyone sees a halo lying around all tarnished and broken, it’s probably mine and I’ve started sticking pins in a wax effigy of my colleague!