The Corpse Dream, again

I’ve had a variation on this dream off and on for a very long time but it hardly ever pops up these days. I actually thought until last night I’d not have it again. The basic premise is this: I have somehow killed someone and concealed the body. I never have the faintest idea who and I don’t see this body, but I know it’s there, all wrapped up or rolled up in a carpet or buried  or otherwise hidden. Usually the hiding places are woefully inadequate and my panic through the dream is that it will be discovered and I’ll be in trouble beyond imagining. I also often consider re-hiding the corpse somewhere more effective.

This morning, somewhere after about 4.30am, I dreamed I was about to be found out. I was going to where I knew I’d hidden this body(again unknown identity) with some others. In this case, it was at a garage-type lock-up storage unit and in the dream I knew I had simply left it wrapped up in black plastic and gaffer tape, lying in the open in the middle of the floor. The others( I’m not entirely sure who they were or why they were there) unlocked the door and went inside while I waited outside, waiting for the screams and shouts of alarm and horror. I knew it had been quite a while and the stench would be appalling and after afew seconds, people came out again, complaining of the terrible smell. There was nothing there that was otherwise horrifying; the body had vanished.

I had a sense of disappointment in the dream as I had felt a sense of relief at the whole thing being finally being discovered and the waiting for disaster to be over at last. I also had no idea where the body had gone or who had moved it; I had no sense that I had done it.

The dream then shifted to a butcher’s shop we used to know in the midlands. It was a proper old fashioned butcher’s that made their own sausages and mince and pies and so on and I’m trying to work the mincing machine. I am feeding a series of bones through the mincer but they’re coming out in chunks and not mincing at all. I’ve got rib bones at hand and suddenly one of the assistants comes in and is surprised to find me there out of hours. She adjusts the machine for me and I am able to mince very small all the bones I have waiting. I have no sense of what animal(or indeed person) the bones belong to but I do have a sense of guilt and deceit at being there.

I woke feeling somewhat distressed by both dreams(or the two segments of dream) and am still at a loss to understand them. For the record, I am certain I have never(intentionally or otherwise) killed anyone and hidden the body. Within this latest dream (and with the others too) I have always had a sense of having done it accidentally and then felt obliged to hide what I’d done, where in real life, I am pretty sure I’d own up instantly.

I’ve often felt hopelessly inadequate for most things my life has thrown at me, feeling as if I am performing a longterm con act and am surviving on pure luck not to have been found out and unmasked as a fraud or a show off who can’t really come up with the goods. Even my teaching is subject to this feeling, that I’m busking the whole time and can’t really do it at all.   

So who or what is this body I have spent so many years trying in my dreams to hide and why do I do it?

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12 thoughts on “The Corpse Dream, again

  1. Interesting dreams! When I was being treated for depression; I moved, took on a new (stressful job), was giving palliative care to mom, and then dad, I had the most bizarre dreams.

    Right now, my issues include managing a life as a ‘retiree’. I could not work any more. Losing my mom was difficult.

    I keep having dreams about my mom, since I never had a chance to say good-bye – another long story, and have found great knowledge from my dreams.

    I am still on Effexor, and it really helps.

    Thank you for visiting My Muskoka !

  2. I’m no dream analyst, but the fact that you remember your dreams so vividly means you are in a very deep sleep. Consider yourself lucky….
    The book I am currently reading focuses a lot on the ego, actually quite a few books I have read focus on our ego and how it keeps us from being our true self.
    So if I had to take a stab at interpreting your dream I’d say the corpse is your ego and the person scared of being caught is the real you. It could be that you are extremely close to peeling back an important layer of your ego, and your ego’s way of trying to prevent this from happening is through this bizarre dream. Our ego’s main concern is self preservation, and it will do this by any means possible.

    It could also just be a dream. What would YOU like it to be?

    • If truth be told, I’d like it to be a memory of something I have repressed! Seriously though, I’ve always thought that dream analysis often says more about the analyser than the dream: and here, you have been doing a study about the ego and that’s what you see. Someone who has been studying the libido would see the corpse as my sex drive. It doesn’t mean any of those are wrong, just not neccessarily right. I’m waiting to see what chimes best. I expect J will be having a bit of a laugh about the ego thing, too!
      I guess with a new baby you’re not getting much quality sleep; my daughter didn’t reliably sleep through the night till she was over five years old. If i don’t get decent dream sleep my emotional and mental and creative self becomes starved and then I get very depressed indeed.
      Nice to see you here, Brynn!

      • Very insightful, it could even be images from a past life, or a future life, depends how far down the rabbit hole you wanna go….
        The answer will come to you if you sit and silently contemplate it.
        Isn’t the universe just fascinating, I wrote about not sleeping through, and Adam slept through last night…
        Do you meditate before going to sleep?

      • I do meditate before sleeping. if only for a few minutes.
        I was amused by the Rabbit Hole reference as I’ve occasionally described myself as a superannuated Alice in Wonderland: I looked very like her as a teenager!
        Part of the answer is to do with my “shadow” I think. But it’s curious as the body was gone and only the smell remained. I have a great fear of finding a decomposing dead body somewhere while out on my travels, or a mutilated one. I’ve only ever seen one human dead body and it was a very powerful experience. Maybe it’s my own mortality…
        In the mode of Chiron the wounded healer I found a dozen or two sleep helpers for others(and other people’s babies) but none has ever worked for long for me(or for my own child).
        xx

  3. Should I be reading “Past Redemption” before attempting an analysis of your dream??
    As far as the ego thing is concerned I am looking for suitable premises!!!

    Love

    J

    • erm no, I just used the dream as if it were a repressed memory for the purposes of the novel.
      And there are days when you coulnd’t find a garage big enough to park my ego; today is not one of them!!!!
      xx

  4. I’m no psychologist but, on first reading, I would suggest that these dreams do seem to be linked to you being a homicidal maniac and all that. But as long as you keep taking the medication there shouldn’t be any repeat of “that unfortunate incident” involving the mincing machine and the evangelical mother.

  5. Its interesting…usually interpretations work best when the dreamer is asked what it means to them. We all have symbols for what we dont like to confront head on. Ask yourself to see the face of the dead the next time you sleep and remember the face you see on the corpse, it will give you a clue as to what the dream means. Also check on what is happening in your waking hours when you have this dream. Just my two cents…

    I tend to have repetitive dreams when I am stressed about something. Its like the flim reel is stuck on a particular point and just goes on replay mode, very much like how I feel at that stressed moment- I am stuck and dont know how to move anywhere from here.

  6. Viv,

    You’re well aware of many different analysis methods, so I’m sure the Jungian path isn’t foreign.

    I got a lot of great information and practical help from Robert A. Johnson’s “Inner Work”. He presents ways of understanding these deep communications from our inner-selves and does it without a bunch of rigid dogma.

    From that perspective (Jungian), I wonder what part of yourself this “corpse” represents and what your unconscious/super-conscious might be trying to communicate. The fact that this is a recurring motif seems significant, no?

    Great conversation you’ve sparked here.

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