I’d like to welcome Barb from Creative Barbwire as today’s guest blogger:
Duality and Free will
by Barbara G.Tarn
John Milton: Free will, it is a bitch. (Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate, 1997)
I could actually take out a lot more memorable quotes from that movie. I so love Tony Gilroy for writing it (and Keanu Reeves for starring in it… uhm, sorry, I’ll stop drooling NOW!)! Along with some of Kevin Smith’s Dogma lines, that’s another reason for loving movies about religion and humanity.
We live in a world of duality, and I should be used to it, right? Wrong. I keep struggling with it, I want but I don’t want (beware of what you dream of, it may happen – and not be what you expected it to be…), and sometimes I’m sick of this duality thing that keeps tearing me apart.
My ego is like a yo-yo. The Principle of Duality makes me fight against myself, endlessly. It makes me tell lies to myself – as I’m the only one believeing those lies. It’s darn confusing and I wish I could make up my mind once and for all! And Free Will doesn’t really work either. To quote Devil’s Advocate again:
John Milton: Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He’s a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It’s the goof of all time. Look but don’t touch. Touch, but don’t taste. Taste, don’t swallow.
Gee, I’m gonna die of indecision! I’m a loner, but I want company, sometimes, but not always because I like people but I don’t like them – and I could go on forever.
I guess I feel the duality most in what I love the most: writing. I write because I want to tell stories. But I’m aware there are rules to follow and that the reader is not in my head. Some of those rules don’t make sense to me. “Writers love words”? Writers spending hours or days on a sentence or a comma (Oscar Wilde, right)? I don’t. I pour out the story, and as long as the reader gets it, I don’t care if I didn’t use the perfect words, POV, whatever. And I hate “purple prose” anyway.
I don’t like descriptions, and write very few (as a reader, I tend to skip them. I write what I want to read). Even in my mother tongue I’m not “literary” enough because I don’t care about playing with words or styles, I only want to tell a story.
Which was fine until I was my only reader. But now I’d love to share those stories with the rest of the world. I want to get published, but don’t want to bother with marketing. I want to quit my day job, but don’t have the courage yet. I’ll wait for this materialistic civilization to die off and live happily ever after in the world of tomorrow! 🙂
I want to move away from Italy, but I guess I’m still too attached to some material things. Until I have a body that needs to be fed and sheltered, I guess I’ll have to live with duality. And Free Will. And losing control and letting it go. And trying to find happiness in small things. And accepting my duality!
Peace and love
“We are all angels and demons. Thus, on a daily basis we are thrust into this eternal war of self vs. society, and we struggle to figure out how to live comfortably within a moral framework.” David Farland
Barbara G.Tarn is an unpublished professional writer who might eventually continue writing her autobiography which is called “40 years as an alien(ated)” (or “Suicide is not an options,” which might end up being the title of the second book, as the first covers only 40 years that flew by way too fast). In the meantime she writes, reads, follows some sort of personal spiritual path and blogs (on writing, mostly) at http://creativebarbwire.wordpress.com/