I have been very quiet the last few days, on the blog front, and I may be still for some time. Until Wednesday I had been working on an article about being in the moment and about those who look on the bright side and how the two things are pretty much incompatible.

On Wednesday night by dog Holly, diagnosed almost a year ago with cancer, took a turn for the worst and refused her dinner. This is a bad sign in a sick pet. Since then she has been steadily declining. I am hoping and praying that she will pass away naturally but if she shows signs of pain, then she will get help from the vet.

For any Brightsiders reading, there is NO bright side of my dog dying. Yes, she has had a wonderful life and has been loved very much but right now, I can see nothing positive from her death. I’m being in the moment with this as much as I can and it hurts.

thank you for reading.


20 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. got to your blog via Fibi’s blog ( I always wonder how people happen to show up on mine, figure you might too) 🙂 I’ve never heard that phrase “brightsiders” before- I like it. I guess I never thought about the tension between living in the moment (when something heartbreaking comes into our lives) and cultivating a healthy attitude. A friend of ours currently going through the grieving process of the death of her husband shared with us recently, she is so tempted to “emotionall check out” and just live life on auto-pilot. For years she said she’d lived her life emotionally disconnected and had to intentionally work at “feeling” so now here she is, having to feel some gut wrenching heartache.
    Our family dog Oscar the beagle is looking like he’s also reaching the end of his life. I’ve never been closer to an animal than to him, so when you shared your heart on this post, there’s a real part of me that can relate.
    take care. DM

    • Hi DM,
      it is good to see you here and I am sorry that you are also coming to a similar point in your life.
      I guess it’s the price we pay for loving.
      I came up with the term brightsiders because I needed a term that was descriptive and yet not perjorative and it’s partly inspired by the new book Brightsided(Smile or Die, in the uK) by Barbara Ehrenbach. I shall post a link to her interview when I do finally finish the article.
      Feeling is one of the reasons for living.
      sorry, bit disconnected atm.

  2. Of course Viv. I don’t think there’s anything to say except that we’ve been thinking about all of you and Holly – and hoping that she doesn’t experience pain, only your love, on her way out.

    – Shafali

  3. Viv,

    I know your pain as we have been in your shoes not long ago. It is most likely the hardest decision you will ever make, if you have to help Holly to the Rainbow Bridge. But if you do, it will be because you love her and are willing to let her go. Enjoy the time you have left with her and remember all the good times….those good times can always make you smile.

    • Nancy, we will do what is right, when the time comes, if it comes. I don’t want to do it until I am certain that she is ready to go.
      thank you for your visit and your kind and thoughtful words

  4. Sorry about your dog Viv.
    The longer I live the more I understand about the attachments
    we form with animals.
    This entry has been sent from a cloudy place where all the
    goblets glasses and cans are half empty.

  5. Hello Viv, so, so sorry to hear about your beloved pet. As you know I am a pet owner too and I know how this feels. (I actually lost my dog and my Dad in the same week in 2003 and I’ve lost two cats more than a couple of human loved ones since).
    I think you are right that living in the moment and looking at the bright side are often incompatible.
    Being in the moment is about accepting and experiencing the pain in order to help us heal. There is no Bright Side, but there can be acceptance. Just worry about what you need to do to heal.

    I wish you love, and peace,

  6. I know words of comfort are of little help and I know no one and nothing will ever take the place of Holly in your heart and your life, but still I want you to know Holly is in my prayers too.

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