A Troubling Vision

A Troubling Vision

I am sorry; this is not a Christmassy post, so please feel free to ignore if you simply cannot face more doom. I know we are all trying to keep our own sanity and self-care for emotional well-being is vital.

But I cannot keep silent.

Decades ago, my mentor told me he thought I was a visionary. But like Cassandra in Greek myth, I feel as if so often I’m doomed to be ignored or worse. So I will share my experience and leave it there.

A few nights ago, I woke from a dream so strange it defied my capacity to put it into words. There weren’t really words to capture it; nor yet could I draw or paint it. In the dream I seemed to see another reality, one where the comforting things I cling to had been stripped away. I saw a world in ruins. Ruins beyond mere decay and neglect. Ruins burned to the bone. It was not a vision of a future but of the present, as if what I see around me is an illusion, and that I am somehow blind to what is really there. I am defeated in my attempt to convey the horror and the power that this dream invoked in me. When I woke, I seemed to see figures in the darkness of my room, watching me. That type of hypnogogic vision is something I am prone to, but it feels as if I have been asked to simply speak what I have seen.

The recent election caused me such misery, and one of the aspects (other than that I feel we are divided in the most profound and appalling of ways) is that the chance for my country to get to tackling the climate and environment issues has been lost (for the moment at least). The Labour party was judged by Friends of the Earth as having a manifesto regarding the environment significantly more “green” than that of the Green Party. We can no longer afford to piss around with the kind of politics we’ve had up to this point, and I have zero (nay, negative figures) confidence that the new/current government cares a flying fox about anything but its own shadowy and callous agendas.

I’m exhausted and quite unwell at present, and both mental and physical health are severely challenged. I need to find peace of some kind in my heart. I have written what was given to me and I hope that somehow it finds the right hearts to lodge in. Be well, my friends.

12 thoughts on “A Troubling Vision

  1. Many times things have to be ‘finished’ before they can begin again and rise from the ashes. But yes, i too suffer along with many many others about the way of the world right now and sense doom. How could one not?

    Liked by 3 people

    • That’s a good question, yet it seems that most here do not sense it, and don’t seem to care at all about others. I am waiting for someone to wade in and tell me I’m wrong or naive or *negative*.

      Liked by 1 person

    • It’s good to hear from you; we had a wonderful day that day in August, and I was so happy to meet you. Hold fast to what is good. Every good wish for Christmas, and also that the coming year may bring better things.


  2. It’s a challenging time, painful for so many and hard on body and soul. I dream much less than usual and the dreams are often disturbing. I was grateful for a peaceful Solstice gathering with my 2 sons and our collective 5 dogs (who figured out how to get along). I was grateful to lie on my couch with a grumpy old Chihuahua on my heart and a tired 5 month old pup on my belly, the two snuggling with me and each other. May we find Light, even if just small doses, within the Dark.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Something like the dry bones in Ezekiel’s vision? That led to the promise of resurrection and reconciliation at least. So I’ll repeat what you said in a comment above: “Hold fast to what is good.”

    Some of us in the USA are appalled with politics on both sides of the ocean. My greatest disappointment is not with our president but with my fellow white evangelicals, and with the Republican party that I grew up with. What is happening in people’s minds, and “How long, O Lord?”

    Currently re-reading Susan Howatch’s “Church of England” series (will I ever stop?). Thanks again for your article about her a few years ago. Her character Jonathan Darrow’s visions are a good glimpse of the mystical, and he often points to your neighbor Julian of Norwich. Her visions, or “showings,” are about the best devotional reading that I’ve found.

    Praying for you. God bless you in the coming year.

    Liked by 1 person

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